hoping

I am tired and somehow, not looking forward to going to work tmr. I am drained and don't know what to do or how to help or if i should actually believe that it is possible. My heart wants to but somehow, my head echos that it may not work out and it tells my heart not to put so much into it. But the wierd thing is that i just can't help it. It's just wierd and i can't seem to explain myself.

But that is how i feel.

I want it to happen, yet somehow, i think that the possibility of it happening is not that high. Plus the fact that i don't actually take disappointments very well... It doesn't help that much.

SIGH.

please, work it out.

i look at myself and consider myself a failure.
i can't keep my word,
i can't do things right. i can't keep to my commitments.
i cant do anything right. its just me i guess.
what do you do when you don't know what to do?
what do you do when you want to help but you don't know how to?
what do you do when you want to give up?
what do you do when things don't make sense and you dont have any answers?
what do you do?
i hate me.